New Article: How Letting Go of the 'Perfect Life' Has Changed My Life

Very excited and grateful for the chance to share again.  Please check out my latest article published today on www.thepurplefig.com

Check it out:

http://www.thepurplefig.com/how-letting-go-of-the-perfect-life-changed-my-life/

All signs pointing to...

When the signs line up...

There always seems to be days I wonder what my purpose is, or if I'm even close to being on the right path.  Then there are the days, I know it, without a shadow of a doubt, the universe is guiding me back to my custom designed path.  It fits me in all the right places.  It's my flow. That place where I'm happy, inspired, passionate and alive.  

This week was again another busy one. I took off early Monday on business, and found myself riding the highs of my passion in my career.  To lead others to their own answers.  The job I accepted a few months ago, was custom fit for me. Not sure how it happened, but for the first time in a few years, I'm exactly where I want to be.  After 3 straight days of meetings, I landed 2 invitations to a prestigious fine chefs event in the city I was visiting.  Could the week be any more perfectly fit to ME?!?

I flew back to Toronto Thursday afternoon.  Immediately upon landing I hit a wall. I'd pushed my mind and body over the edge.  For whatever reason, I got home and instead of fighting it, crawled into bed for a 2 hour nap.  When I woke up, groggy and sluggish, I decided it was time for some fresh air and a good mind clearing. I put all thoughts of work aside and went for a run. Running is my natural high.  Although I was certain when I landed in Toronto that my day was done... Here I was refreshed, renewed,reenergized.  

A few texts and calls later and my girlfriends were on route.  The Toronto international Film Festival was at my doorstep in King West, and just as any single girl would do, I wasn't about to miss the festivities.  A quick gathering and we set off without plans down King Street.  One stop after another, and our night carried us right through the doors of the opening party for "the right kind of wrong". Surrounded by the cast and crew, we were right at home.  I'm not sure how this keeps happening, but without plans, I'm seriously having the time of my life.

We made our way down to the usual spot to finish our night. There he was, my crush crossed the floor for a hug and kiss.  I couldn't help but smile. I still wanted nothing more than to simply enjoy soaking up the attention and feeling the excitement build inside me when I saw him.  An incredible night, I watched my friends effortlessly put #thesmileproject into action. This was bliss. 

Better yet, I received 2 calls to action to write again... If I ever needed a sign :)

Embracing the moment, not the analysis of it.

Embracing Change

What a week it's been. My life long best friend returned to visit from the west coast. Amazing how your connection with some is so strong that no matter what time passes, or what life throws at you, you just pick right back up where you left off.  The old adage that the people and things that are meant to stay in your life will, you won't need to fight for that to happen.  My best friend and I took ourselves on a date night to ONE Restaurant in Yorkville.  Despite our most fabulous people watching seats on the patio at the kickoff to Toronto International Film Festival, it's as though we were sitting in the basement of her moms house where we spent all waking hours talking, laughing, and sharing dreams.  We were engrossed, completely present, and happy.

As life would have it, I had set plans for dinner at an amazing restaurant where I landed a prime time reservation during Film Festival the next evening. After a last minute cancellation and a million faltering plans, I decided to embrace the idea that it wasn't meant to be that evening,  it was just too forced.  Interestingly, a theory I've really been applying to so much of my life lately.  I just knew, it wasn't going to happen.  Rather than fight it with continued attempts to make last minute plans, I resorted to spending a quiet night alone, knowing my next few weeks would be insane. I called and ordered takeout from my local favourite restaurant. A friend called, she was going to a workshop in the city and asked me to join.  I declined but offered her to park in my building and to reconnect after for a drink.

I walked down to the parking lot to let my friend in, no make-up, jeans a tshirt and flip flops, something in me understood everything had perfectly lined itself up. I threw my hands up and agreed to go to the seminar.  We picked up my takeout which was conveniently around the corner!?!  It was just meant to be.  The workshop that night was about speaking your truth, standing in your power, embracing all that you already are,being present, and the incredible power within each of us to manifest everything we want in our lives when we are willing to surrender to our true self.  Sounds easy right? Until you start asking yourself the tough questions about what you currently hold as your truth. Is the vision you have of life really yours? Or have you been programmed by the life, experience and people that have brought you to this point.  Have you really taken the time to reach within and ask what it is that your heart desires?

In a 2 hour call with my best friend again tonight, we laughed and reminisced about the plans and visions we had of our perfect lives.  We reflected on how much holding onto those visions as our truth has led to disappointment.  We questioned ourselves and each other about something as simple as whether or not we even believed marriage is what we see as the utmost value in our futures or if that is the idea we have been raised with, and if a loving and committed relationship could suffice? The reality is, whatever that answer is today, may not be our truth tomorrow...would it all be happier and easier if we cold simply embrace the moment as every cliche and quote suggests, and accept that change is the truth. We are not the same person we were from one moment to the next, we continue to grow and expand into higher versions of ourselves, with new wisdom, experience and visions. What was true for us yesterday may not be true for us today. 

Perhaps holding on to yesterday's truth is the root of today's disappointment. If it really is all about perspective, Shakespeare had it right:

"There is nothing either good or bad. But thinking makes it so"

Embrace the moment, not the analysis of it 😊

Smile...It Really Can Change Your Life #thesmileproject

This past week I had the chance to revisit an old experiment that came about after a number of dates and the joys of the online-dating experience.  After several dates with emotionally unavailable types, and in general more pen pals than any working professional has time for, I took to the streets of Toronto with some of my best single friends to test the power of a smile. The project really has become a game changer.

This past week, with several opportunities to test the theory, some incredible research was completed. With a gaggle of girlfriends we hit the king west area Thursday night to play.  A girlfriend tested her first smile and we learned a few things. Firstly, how hard and awkward it can be the first few times.  However therein was the lesson...a simple smile can be the building blocks to restoring self-esteem, confidence, and even self-love.  If smiling at an object of potential affection. Is difficult, start with just another person, a child, a senior, a member of the same or opposite sex.  There is a natural serotonin boost that comes from sending good vibes, and even more so when it is returned.  More interestingly, we learned that a smile that is not genuine does not have the same effect...work  to the real thing if you are comfortable with it yet.

The other piece that came as a confidence builder was to not just make eye contact, but hold it for a quick second, and whatever you do, do not look down right after.  Hold your head high, adjust your gaze back in front of you. We're not going for the creepy stare here :). But, looking down right after is a sign of low confidence. Next time you try this, be conscious of what you do or feel right after you make eye contact and smile.  I have caught myself initially looking down. Sometimes you just fake it till you make it right? 

You can build yourself back up, and build up someone else with such a simple gesture. Even if you don't know it, that very smile might have been everything to someone else. This week I extended my own good energy from a simple smile to passing my paid for parking voucher to a stranger at the ticket machine. She was shocked, I was thrilled that it brought a warmth over her when she realized what I was doing.  Thursday night, I approached a woman in a bar to tell her how hot she looked in her dress.  She literally almost cried and thanked me for saying so, she'd been self-conscious about her selection and really appreciated the compliment, and more so coming from another female who had nothing to gain from saying so.

The best part, all of the actions on my part were given with expectation of nothing. But what I got back was far beyond what I could have imagined :) it warmed my heart, and heed me stand a little taller with my own joy.

"Making one person smile can change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world" 

A Long Date With Myself

I did me this week...

It's a busy world, life always gets in the way of life... Work, family, friends, commitments.  Too often this always been a really great excuse for avoiding me, my life. My basic needs.

There is always something in my mind that I just haven't had the chance to sit and process. Sometimes because I'm not ready to, sometimes because I don't want to face it. You name the reason... The reality is burying and avoiding things is not the same as letting them go.

I took this past week off.  The first full week of my single life that wasn't filled with a thousand commitments better known as distractions. For the first time in my life, I took complete enjoyment in the lack of responsibility to anyone or anything but myself.  I slept in, worked out, blogged, tweeted, deactivated Facebook... I cancelled all of the ideas I had in my head about how I would spend my week and just went with the flow. For many this might seem logical, for me, this would normally have been an impossible feat! I literally did not respond to one work email, and finally spent more time alone then with people.

Every day was a clean slate.  A year ago this would have terrified me.  All that time alone? For the first time in my life, I just did me. I feel like I was meeting the real me for the first time... I had the space and quiet to listen, to feel, to follow my flow.  From sleeping in late, breakfast in bed, lunch dates, gym dates, random coffee dates, a visit to an art studio, spontaneous and exceptionally late nights out in the city, to killing a hangover by the swimming pool, meeting a pile of new friends, and even a couple of new crushes. I feel like I got way more out of the week then I could have either imagined or planned.  And the best part, I loved every minute... Time to clear my thoughts, my heart, my agenda... 

Incredible things happened.  New friends, new interests, renewed perspective, peace, business opportunities, keys to new places in this city. I even found peace in my heart for a person I had been so angry with and hurt by. There really is something to be said for letting go... For me, it was the chance to fall in love with myself and my life, just as it is today ❤

"You don't always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go and see what happens" ~Mandy Hale