The noise of words unspoken...

I had dinner with a great friend tonight, and it hit me. The confusion I'm feeling right now, and every time I struggle in matters of love is all the noise in my head.  The question, what is that noise?  My friend pointed out in not so many words through his very pointed and guiding questions, that the noise is the rattling around of all the thoughts and words I carry because I have until now refused to say them.

Yes, all of the words...I miss you, I'm sorry, I'd love to see you, I happy, I'm sad, I'm excited, you make me smile, I hurt, I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm nervous, I love you...I could go on.  But anyone who's been there ism likely nodding there head saying they've got a head full of their own words and feelings.  The other half of the noise is all of the debates around why you should or shouldn't say how you feel.

What if the simple answer to quieting the mind was to simple say how you feel when you feel it without question. As I had to be reminded this weekend, the challenge in life is not screwing up too often, it's about how you handle it when you do...  I have been so afraid to mess up I haven't been free to be me. 

Today is the day I give myself the freedom to start over.  Maybe love really is infinite, and I have been selfishly saving it needlessly thinking it wouldn't come back to refill my supply.  What if the more you give away the more that will be returned.  Maybe not by the ones you want it from, but there's an infinite supply in this world.  What's the worst that could happen when you say what's in your heart and mind? Peace of mind...?

❤❤❤❤❤