Yesterday I set out to shop. I took the day off work, and was so grateful after a hectic few months of travel and life to have a day to myself. I love walking around this city. Despite the chill in the air, I enjoyed the warmth and softness of the cashmere scarf I tucked under my jacket. I had no place to be, and no plan in mind. I stepped out onto King Street West and couldn't help but smile. It's days like this that my heart believes the whole world is waiting at my door step.
A friend called while I was walking. He wanted to share a moment of clarity in his life. I absolutely love when people do this. It lifts me in some unexplainable way. I'm genuinely happy when people, including me, discover how finding your truth means finding true happiness. It's an honest release from the weight of holding on to anything that isn't for you.
He asked what I was shopping for. I told him I had no idea, I was going to shop with my heart and buy whatever gave me that feeling... but it was probably going to be a day of big finds, because that's when I find it. He laughed, he always reminds me how my sense of blind hope and optimism in the unknown is refreshing. What he doesn't know, if that I got more from that conversation with him than he did. I hung up smiling, feeling a little more love for myself too.
I walked in and out of store after store. Little things inspired me, but I was looking for something much bigger. At last I walked into a designer shoe store. The first thought that bubbled up, I hope I don't find anything here, it's more than I want to spend. Before I realized it, I was drawn into the store, and that thought had fleed my mind faster than it had entered.
I picked up a beautiful shoe, brushed my fingers over the soft material, lost in my thoughts, I barely noticed the woman who had approached me. "Are you looking for something particular today? Is there anything I can help you find?". It took me a second to collect my thoughts. I crinkled my nose, searching for an answer, logic told me I was supposed to give her a list. Nope. Couldn't find the list. I continued to stare at the shoe in my hand, then a smile stole my cheeks. "Nothing at the moment. I'm looking for a feeling, I'll know it when I find it". I put the shoe back on the shelf, turned, looked into her eyes and said "I'm looking to fall in love", I blinked, smiled and shot her a look that could only say you know what I mean?! She nodded, almost speechless, smiled back at me and sighed. She knew exactly what I meant.
I'm not looking for a list. I know that even if I had one, it wouldn't guarantee I'd fall in love. I'm looking for that item, the one that no matter what, I will have to have. I've never regretted a purchase yet, only the ones I left behind. Still thinking of those Purple Ferragamo's I found at an airport boutique when logic told me not to spend that on a pair of shoes...
Your heart won't mislead you, and it doesn't need a list. Feel it...
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