To Date or Not To Date...?

I used to fill my schedule intentionally, with random dates, dinners with friends and clients, anything just not to feel the emptiness of being single. It was awesome for a while, until I found myself juggling, putting so much pressure on myself in order to later squeeze in the things that would come up that I really wanted to do. The people I wanted to see, places I wanted to visit. All I knew is I suddenly had no time to sit home with a mind that took me to terrible places. I was afraid to be with me.

Eventually I burnt myself out. I had been avoiding myself for years. Now incredible things were coming into my life, and I could never seem to find the time to wrap my head around them and truly digest the magnitude of every incredible experience. I began craving that time for me. It was a whole new feeling. I wanted to sit home on a Friday night and write, digest, do nothing. Just be.

In the very way I have always talked about, life continued to steer me in the direction I needed to be. I couldn’t explain how or why, I had let go of my plan, my mind just needed a break. Everything seemed to be in order with little effort on my part. Here I was, sitting alone, in my condo in the heart of King West, one of the busiest and most lively parts of the city, and it felt a million miles away, my oasis. I finally felt satiated. 

With my career progressing, and friendships transforming, oddly all the things I used to go out and work so hard to make happen were coming to me. Including, men. Yet, here I am, and although I am open to and very much wanting the real deal, I find myself so completely satisfied with my life as it is…

I have about a week left before I hit the road again, personally and professionally for three weeks, and I feel myself reluctant to give up that time to anyone but my friends.  Time has continually proven to be the  most valuable resource I have. 

To date or not to date.Ironic…