A little backgrounder...

Let me introduce a few characters and set the stage as to why EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON and TIMING is everything!

Exhibit A - SCOTT (my husband)
I met SCOTT while finishing my 3rd year of university. We dated for 6 years as I meticulously planned my life down to the nth degree. I had everything in order - the career was taking off, money in the bank for a home, everything was falling into place. Next step... I needed the Husband and Family. So... timing suggested the next step was to marry SCOTT. So I did... Only to wake up 3 years later miserable at myself and not in love.  So, after months of turmoil, we finally ended it.

Exhibit B - JOHN
Miserable and ending my marriage, I was at the gym preparing to leave for a trip for both business and pleasure that was meant to allow me to clear my thoughts, and finally move out of my home/marriage/life.  Walking to a spin class, I mentioned to a friend I was packing golf clubs for my trip when JOHN piped up walking behind me "Did you say golf clubs? Are you a golfer".  Truly not in a place to be even remotely interested in men, I casually laughed and replied. Class got started. After showering and changing, I waited for my dad who was meeting me for coffee. JOHN came out of the change room and immediately approached. I told him I was married and golf might not really be an option. We spoke of travel. I gave him my business card and offered to help him out on future trips, and left with my dad.

JOHN pursued me with emails, and finally bbms. I can't even remember how the discussions got so serious except that he called me out on my marriage, and I caved and admitted it was over.  Least to say within weeks of my return, JOHN wanted to see me. After a month of seeing JOHN, and what seemed like an amazing connection... something went off the rails. JOHN retreated unexplicably - noting "it was his issues". A few weeks later, he was back. The relationship proceeded emotionally opening and closing for months. When I finally purchased my new home, and it wound up being very close to JOHN (500 m) he again relented. We split late November 2010.  We ran into each other only a few times - at the gym, then once with a female at Tim Horton's.

The New Year approached, and JOHN and I ran into each other and couldn't help but share how much we missed each other and wanted to see each other, but he was holding back as he explored a relocation package. Our passion and connection had not dwindled. He looked at his offers for the next month and a half, while we grew closer together.  One day in February, sensing something to be very off, I pulled back. JOHN blew up, and that was that...  the next time we saw each other was a month later when he returned some books and informed me he had accepted the offer and was leaving in a few months. An emotional visit again, there was still a connection. And we didn't speak again after that, until our near collision in the parking lot at our gym.  We saw each other one last time before he left to move. Of course, he pushed hard to close it. We had one of the most intimate discussions we'd ever shared. It was a difficult month that followed.

ENTER JASON
I reconnected with JASON online through a business networking site, he worked for a customer of mine, and I thought he might be able to help me with the business. We exchanged business favours. He was from my hometown, but now living in the USA. He had a trip home planned and invited me for a drink. After a whirlwind catch up, we spent the next day together as well. Before we knew it, we had lined up several visits for him to come home, and us to meet on the road while we travelled for work. It was fun, filled the need for excitement.  The only problem, we lived in different countries... and... my feelings for JOHN were unresolved.

After 4 months of fun with no real sense of where things were heading. We finally sat to chat, and realized the timing wasn't right. And I was ok with that.

ENTER CHRIS
After refusing to do the online dating thing, JASON left my house on Monday morning, and Monday night, I signed up for a paid site with the intention of simply finding some entertainment.  Within 24 hours, I met CHRIS - my heart fluttered before I even opened the first message. After a few brief exchanges - we exchanged phone numbers. We spoke that night for 3 hours, and every day and night after for equally the same. By Friday we had to see each other. Sunday was our second date. On Monday CHRIS asked my schedule and penciled in Tuesday and Wednesday. I went away for the weekend with my mom and sister, and CHRIS suddenly pulled back... we decided it was too fast, and time to slow down. So we spent the next several weeks "spending time together".

The past few weeks CHRIS has become more affectionate, but still seemingly emotionally removed. So the other day, I decided it was time to chat. And here I am, back to ground zero. We are not on the same page...

That's the skinny... more gaps to be filled.