Findng Excitement in the Unknown

Am I finding my groove??? What is this new feeling...  For the first time in my life I find myself almost wanting to rid my life completely of prospects, the word exhausts me. Hearing friends talk about dating exhausts me. I have truly found a balance in life right now. I am happy :). My greatest challenge is filtering out the noise of my friends and loved one's who think they know what I need - "why aren't you dating?" "why don't you try this website?" "why don't you call this guy?" "why won't you give that one a chance?"

Don't get me wrong, I totally appreciate the care and concern everyone puts into worrying about me, as I'm sure - all of you - my single friends can also appreciate, but sometimes I could live without all the noise.  I am actually enjoying my life the way it is right now. Everyday is a new adventure... I'm free to make spontaneous decisions, go where I want, be with who I want, travel when I want, come home when I want, eat what I want... see the pattern here?  And the best part... I never know what opportunity is around the next corner, and I find that exhilirating.

If you had asked me a year ago, 6 months ago, even 3 months ago, the thought of not knowing drove me insane. My life was planned to the nth degree. But that was no fun... I had all the stability in the world while I was married, I bounced from one unfulilling relationship to another afterward. But something was always missing... why? I was looking to fill my life needs and hopes with a relationship. I truly believed that my life was meant to be shared - which I still believe. The difference is, I am finally making myself happy, I am finally getting to know who I am.  Just because I am not in a relationship does not make me lonely.

My life right now is full... full of the things I love to do and people I love to be with. My friends and family fill every waking minute that is not filled by me exploring what life has to offer, my passions, hobbies and new challenges. With spring upon us I am getting back into Road Cycling, the best place I can think of to clear my head and heart. I also put myself out there this week and went with a friend to try Hot Yoga for the first time. Yoga is just one of many things I used to say "I can't do" or "I don't like". With a slightly changed perspective, I actually think it's something I am going to truly invest in. The chance to truly connect with mind and body. 

If you're alone, make the choice, don't be lonely! Get out there and LIVE!  Try new things, get busy being in this world. Sitting alone wondering "when" or "how" or "who" is frustrating, isolating, and lonely. Get out there and let yourself be surprised by the countless delights and opportunities the universe is trying to give you!

Time Out for the Most Important Relationship in Your Life!!!

Notice how life happens in waves? Relationships, dating, everything included. Periods of insanity where you would give the world for a moment just to catch up with your thoughts, then periods where you'd give anything to get away from your thoughts. LOL Such is life...

Lately I've been grateful that work since returning from a trip out West has kept me on my toes running from the moment my flight touched back down in Ontario. In my journey I've become increasingly aware when I'm falling into a pattern. After the whole friends with benefits proposition last week, it was evidently time for a Time Out!!!

So here it is... what do you do to step back, escape the moment, hear your thoughts, and let them go. For me, that release has been cycling. A chance to get out on the open road, wind in my ears, burn in my legs, kept company by some great tunes... this is my escape. Time for me. Something I do to put the rest of the world on hold... Facebook, Instant Messaging, Email, Phone Calls, all of it can wait. Too often I wonder if in the search for love/companionship we are all too willing to ignore our own needs, sacrifice the necessary time we need for ourselves and one of the single most important relationships in our lives - the one with ourselves.

I came across a beautiful posting a friend shared on Facebook today, and can't help but share it with you. I hope you are have your own time alotted to building your relationship with you:

A new energy relationship is to learn to have a relationship with yourself first... before a loving, sharing balanced and harmonious relationship can be experienced with another. It is a sovereign relationship with self, with all facets of self. The relationship with your partner is just a mirror of the type of relationship you are having with yourself. A relationship with self is to bring the out...side issues to the inside - looking within instead of focusing on your partner- to seek out the missing link to fill the empty gap within yourself first. A loving new energy relationship with another is to be able to open the door of self-discovery without fear of any destructive abuse, limitation or disempowerment. It is to be with your partner, to enjoy their company, for you do not need anything from them, you do not need to take their energy by feeding off them, you do not need to take or share their money or material possessions, and they do not have to do something in return for you to love them and for them to love you. They do not need to feed off you or enslave your energy. It is to enjoy the relationship with them without placing each others fears, baggage, burdens, agendas and attachments upon each other. ~ Pamela Belle Skus ♥!

Are you holding yourself back?

I took a couple of days to reflect after the recent situation in which the terms of a relationship went from a friendship to a friendship with benefits. I took a bit of time to let myself be the victim. Then I got to work... and started asking myself and others who know me best why I continue to attract this type of person.  It continues to come back to one thing... do I believe I'm worth it?

In conversations with friends struggling with single life and dating, there is a common theme. We all seem to sell ourselves short. We're not pretty/handsome enough, smart enough, rich enough... you name it, endless excuses why we don't feel worthy of what we want.  When in reality, we have so much to offer.

How can we break this? By taking our own positive inventory.  At the end of a relationship I have a few times found myself holding on, for what? Because I was afraid they would find someone better and that would make me feel even less worthy... look around, you need to know you're a great catch.

If you struggle with coming up with your own list of positive attributes, you can start the way I did, by asking the people who know you best, the people who choose to be in your life, that make your life great. You clearly have something to offer them, figure out what that is. Let your ego pump itself... say it, mean it, believe it. I am the best, and I only deserve the best.

I recently read a good book, which I find myself referring friends to over and over, and have pledged to repeat reading from time to time, check it out if you are interested in taking a hard look at what you are doing to prevent the happiness you deserve in life "Excuses Begone!" by Dr. Wayne Dyer. I'm not one for promoting other people's theories, but this book really adjusted my thinking. And despite my recent setback with Chris, I am adjusting my thinking, and back on my feet!

What are you waiting for? Get happy, be in today!

"Can't get it if you don't keep giving" (One Life, Hedley)

FWB... really?

Alright friends... I'm looking for your input on this one... What is your take on Friends With Benefits? Is thre really a difference between the way guys handle it and the way girls do? Should there be rules?

I'm very curious to hear your thoughts, and hope you will comment on this blog. In my experience, the non-committal relationship ends up in disaster one way or the other. At the end of the day, I'm not convinced a friendship can survive this.

My relationship with JOHN who moved west and now back to my home town started this way, or more of a non-committal way at least. Disastrous...

Men, jump in here... can you really keep emotions off the table in this situation? Can women?

Seriously... a little help here...

Living it up!!!

People keep telling me to live it up, enjoy my time while it belongs exclusively to me... at first it didn't quite make sense. I was convinced my life was better shared. Then again... I had a trip scheduled out West on business. My brother happens to live in the same city, so as usual I extended my trip to spend 9 days out West (including 3 days of business).

This trip was different. I have always found my way West when I've needed the chance to recenter myself... find balance in the craziness of life. This trip I truly found that balance, I truly lived. The West Coast for me is like home... and this trip was all about me! And why not?!?!?  I have no one in my life to worry about for the first time ever, and I'm totally happy about it. I've never found more happiness with myself, not depending on someone, not needing permission from someone. Going where I want, doing what I want, getting to know me :). I did that this trip. 3 days of Alpine Skiing with some of British Columbia's finest ski conditions, a few days to hang out with family and friends. I have returned refreshed, motivated, inspired, ready... and for once, with a little patience and confidence that I can sit back and enjoy whatever surprises life will throw at me in time. And in the meantime, I can put the focus on making myself happy.

Funny how you attract what you are... you probably read that time and time again, I know I have. I can't say I've attracted that special someone yet, but I can tell you people have continued to come into my life, and friends from the past have resurfaced, and our discussions have proven we are coming together in a similar place. Amazing... only a matter of time... but first, I want to be wholly and completely me! Until then, I'm happy just becoming more and more me!

...and, in the meantime, I'm going to live it up! I hope you're doing the same. You never know what tomorrow holds, so keep your focus on making the most of today!

One Foot in Front of the Other...

I've come to realize that the common thread between my own personal panick experiences and those I hear from friends is when a relationship starts to form and we naturally begin looking and planning too far ahead. We easily take our sights off of the life we were living, and start planning a different one.  A few things happen for me at times like this... my expectations of a person change, I set myself up for disappointment, and I can lose sight of who I am.  Where does this leave me... there are two directions I end up going 1) Running in the opposite direction, 2) Setup with high expectations and a high probability of disappointment.

So here's the update... Chris is still maintaining the let's be friends card - and has gone as far as telling me about bad dating experiences... a little awkward. A random out of the blue message from Jason who lives in the USA who suddenly misses me. And then there's Aaron...

Things have been progressing with Aaron. He's still not my usual type, and the progress as a result would normally see me running for the door. Everyday I'm waiting for the other foot to fall. Not willing to jump into things because it's just too normal. I find myself toying between potentially accepting that he may really be a great guy and allowing myself to open up and be vulnerable, or continuing to hold back looking for a proble...

For today, I've decided it doesn't have to be this complicated. Why get so ahead of ourselves. I think I'm just going to enjoy it for today! And in the meantime, I'm going to keep LIVING!  Off for some business and pleasure on the West Coast this weekend!

Whatever you do, whatever you are dealing with, keep living your life... let the rest fall into place :).