Monday, 7 October 2013

F$&% the rules... what's in your heart?


Today I’m irritated. These past few days my thoughts have been whirling around all the unwritten “rules” that seem to exist about dating and love.  I listen to women all around me dishing out advice, I’m guilty of the same. Articles, books, and seminars dedicated to the “how to’s” of dating and relationships, and worse “how to catch him”. Yet, if you’ve ever spoken to someone who has truly found love, they would simply tell you “you will just know”, “it will be easy”.

This brings me to a simple conclusion. F$%& the rules!  There is no right or wrong. There is no too soon, too fast/slow. The only rule that should exist in my mind is the one that says honour what is in your heart first.  How? Build your own life before you try to welcome another to it. If you are standing steady on your own two feet with a life that you are happy with, when you are enough with or without a partner in your life, you are ready for love. As much as you don’t want to hear this, you are also ready to survive potential heart break, you can’t have one without the risk of the other. If you always stand on the side lines, how will you ever know what you’re capable of?

At some point in my 32 year existence, I have done it all. Been the tough girl, sweet girl, crazy girl, confident girl, insecure girl. I played by the rules 1) don’t let him know how you feel too soon 2) play hard to get 3) find someone who loves you more 4) the list goes on, and on, and on…  I have also been the cliché 1) Fallen too fast 2) Loved him more than he loved me 3) made myself available at the drop of a hat 4) kept room in my schedule “just in case” 5) been the pleaser 6) shall I go on?

At the end of the day, the one thing I have learned – love might be the only thing in the world that is not so black and white. Rules don’t allow the kind of flexibility required.  Love is both the riskiest, most dangerous, truly satisfying, heart filling emotion in the world. Get fired, disqualified, unfriended, not hired, not picked for the team - you name it, it hurts the ego but such is life and another opportunity is around the world. Put your heart on the line, and there is risk of a whole different kind of ache. One that even the strongest would question their ability to survive.  But I have, and you can.

Build the kind of life you always dreamed of for yourself. Then protect it by following your heart. A life that is pretty awesome as it is will allow you the patience to wait for a person deserving enough to join your journey, and only add value to what you already have. It does not eliminate the risk of pain, but it ensures you will survive it. 

The choice is yours. You can play dating games, sit on the side lines, or settle for a consolation prize. Or you can let your heart lead you. Listen to your inner voice.  Love out loud. In every moment ask yourself what makes you happy, and do it!  Let go of the need to predict results.  Whatever the outcome, the next action is your choice anyway. The power is yours.

When I played the game, I sat in uncertain situations longer necessary  - I feared not getting what I wanted. Reality is, whether I asked the question after a month or a year, the answer was going to be the same. The hurt however was worse after so much time invested.

Far from perfect, the greatest lesson I learned is that what hurt me more than rejection was  betraying myself to follow the rules of society, and allowing fear of pain to keep me from speaking my truth.   Living in that uncertainty hurt more. Doing things I really didn’t want to do, hurt more. Feeling crazy on the inside and unable to express myself, hurt more. Unlearning how to freely express what I felt, hurt more.  Nothing in life is guaranteed. Walk in with the upside in mind, and know that whatever the outcome you CAN handle it. More importantly, what you do next, is your choice!  You have power over your life. Forget the rules. Love out loud.

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