Readiness - defined as the state of being fully prepared for something.
How often do you find yourself questioning things in life, your career, love? It’s not hard to do in a world that fills our lives with options. Every single day we make choices that ultimately have the power to completely change the path we are are currently on in life. Whether it’s a job that comes along, a person, an opportunity - we must carefully weigh our options in any given moment. As humans, it’s almost certain at some point we’ve made a bad choice - if not many. It’s perfectly understandable why some are hesitant, some struggle, and some just can’t commit to a decision. Life is anything but certain.
That said, think of a time when you made a decision that was simple, clear and certain. I can think of many of those in my own life. Although they are certainly fewer than those that left me up in arms to decide. What made these choices so easy, effortless and less concerning? Readiness. A subjective word that holds so much power in life.
I went on a date a few days ago after speaking to a man for a few weeks. I was busy with work and had been travelling and out of the country all week. We agreed to finally meet on Friday night after I flew home. Landing in Toronto with some bad weather and the Blue Jays Home Opener, I started to question whether or not it was worth all the stress of getting home, semi-organized and racing back out the door for a date.
I flew into Orlando the Sunday prior. Although the travel life paints a glamorous picture, it is a very demanding lifestyle. The week was filled morning till night with meetings and events. I craved the 20 minutes between that I could get for some quiet time to myself. I barely spoke to anyone. My date checked in to reconfirm our plans and timing the day prior. I told him we could shoot to meet for a drink at 7pm, but that I was at the mercy of the airline and weather to get home. He assured me that wasn’t a problem and to touch base once I’d landed. I did. Then faced the mad rush of people heading into the city on a rainy night for the Blue Jay’s Home Opener. Again, my date assured me not to rush, he would manage his time in the meantime and be flexible to my situation.
I arrived home. Took 20 minutes just to get my head on straight so I could get ready. After a week on the road, sometime’s simply taking my shoes and jacket off when I walk through the door are beyond my capacity. I managed to get it together again, freshen up and hop in a cab to meet my date at Drake One Fifty. He texted when he arrived to tell me where he would wait, and how he was dressed. Then also mentioned he had gone ahead and made us a reservation in case I wanted to eat. Hmm… I was a bit miffed at his thoughtfulness.
After a most enjoyable evening, which turned into a full on dinner date. My date insisted I head home to rest prior to my CrossFit event the next morning. I had finally settled in and was enjoying the evening. He walked me out and flagged down a taxi to take me home. Within minutes of walking through the door, I was on the phone with my mom (who is one of my best friends) to fill her in on the evening when I heard a message beep. He had already texted me to ensure I’d arrived home safely, and thank me for mustering up the energy to meet him. I was stunned. He wished me luck the next day and invited me to keep him updated as the day progressed.
The next day, I received a text from him in the afternoon, and again in the evening as I headed back out with friends. He told me he had enjoyed our date and asked if I would be interested in seeing him again. Then told me he would call me Sunday to see if we could make plans. Sure enough, he did. He was easy to talk to and open. He shared his plans for the week and asked to see me next weekend. It was so easy. I didn’t even flinch at agreeing to give up a prime night a week in advance to meet him again.
All of this made me think. My father always reminds me, when you can’t make a decision, perhaps it’s not time. My mom reminds me that a secure man will never leave you feeling insecure, you will always know where you stand and what the deal is. In hindsight, every decision I’ve ever faced went one of two ways. 1) the choice was so clear and simple 2) I felt unsure, uneasy and apprehensive. The only variable that played a difference in which way it would go was my Readiness.
I’ve come to believe that when I am ready for anything, I know exactly what I want and the choice becomes clear. Life will throw many choices and decisions at us in any given moment. That doesn’t mean every option is right for us. There are so many variables involved in this simply complicated life. After many emotionally, mentally and physically unavailable relationships, it’s refreshing to meet someone who is actually ready. Which eliminates several variables and makes things easy to just be…and enjoy what comes.
On the flipside, there are more moments when a person is not ready. Which is more than ok. The important part for me has been acknowledging my lack of readiness. Stepping back from the need to make any decisions or changes, and to just be as is. Sometimes there isn’t a decision to make. When faced with a decision in which the answer doesn’t come simply, perhaps it’s simply time to acknowledge one just isn’t ready in this moment. Accept that.
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