Dream Date, Bermuda

Like most singles, I’ve dated many in search of the seemingly elusive feeling called love. I read all the books, done lots of research. I’ve chased the bad boys. I half listened to the advice of many, the cliche’s especially, “you’ll just know.” There is nothing more frustrating than being the one on the outside of the inside scoop, and knowing it… except… being stuck in less than awesome relationships.

It was a confusing and heart wrenching roller coaster in the dating world. Every time I let someone in, it ended terribly. I continued to tell myself it would all make sense one day. It was the easiest way to maintain my sanity and continue living my life, believing that the kind of love I truly longed for was still possible, and wouldn’t end in heartache.

If you’ve had the joy of embracing dating in your late twenties and thirties, no doubt you can relate to the hesitation, uncertainty, and in some cases, the games. You need the book, the one with all the written rules about how it should unfold. Let’s face it, games without rules are tough to win. The reality is, I was so tired of the games I considered the possibility that being alone would be just fine.

Then, I met him. The guy who would show me what a “ready” person was. A man who would be willing to put his heart on the table first. Strong enough to stand in front of me while I patiently gave my heart the time and space to explore. It was becoming very clear to me why all of the other situations hadn’t worked out. This man wanted to melt my heart, and he would pull out all the stops until I felt myself hopelessly falling…

After several weeks of amazing dates and quality time, it became very clear to me what “ready” looked like. It gave me a chance to explore the same within myself. A man who could openly share his feelings, and didn’t flinch at my own. It has been all the things I’ve written about for years. No games. No worry about texting when or how often. No concern over whether or not he will call. The next date is locked in before the last one can end. He openly shares his social circle, and wants to be part of mine. He is proud to take photos of us together, to hold my hand in public. I am free to be me.

Naturally, it is scary to come across everything you’ve ever asked for in one person, and so quickly. He planned another date, one that would give me a real opportunity to know him. A weekend in Bermuda. He shopped the flights, coordinated all the details. By the time he asked me, all I had to do was say yes, and book a day off work. It wasn’t about timelines or rules - it didn’t matter how long we’d known each other- we both wanted to spend time together.

I flew to Bermuda with him Friday morning. It was easy. Within minutes of checking into our hotel, we were off for our adventure. He had a scooter, the primary method for travel on the island from his days of living in Bermuda. I hopped on the back, wrapped my arms around his waist and smiled. I already felt close enough to trust him with my life. He took me to The Reefs, my first chance to feel the pink sand between my toes, and dip my feet in the turquoise waters. He watched me with a smile, which made me smile. He was attentive and engaged. He even wanted our photo. We found a table overlooking the water to sit for lunch. He was certain I would, in 48 hours, experience the best of Bermuda. I sipped my first Rum Swizzle, and soaked up the sun. We shared lunch and talked for an hour. Without distraction, no cell phones, no where to be.

 He took me to town. Thoughtful and considerate of my lifestyle, and a clear sign he paid attention to every detail with me, he took me his favourite health food store to pick up some snacks for the weekend. We picked up champagne, and some groceries, and went back to the hotel. We changed into our swimsuits, poured a glass of champagne and headed to the hot tub to catch the sunset over the harbour. A moment that melted my heart for sure. I was happy. Relaxed. He made me feel special. The day was far from done, he whisked me off to dinner at Blu. Our conversation was again very different. We both shared more of our pasts. He told me he wanted to know every piece of me. What made me happy. What made me sad. What scared me. All of me. The only thing that could have made the evening more perfect would have been if time could have stood still.

Saturday came quickly, he woke up to meet his triathlon training partners for a long ride around the island. A chance for me to spend some time on my own. I slept in, woke up and hit the gym. My mind was clear, as I hit the treadmill at my fastest pace yet. I squeezed in a Travel WOD and made my way back to the room. I grabbed my laptop and headed for the pool. I was so looking forward to the chance to be alone with my thoughts after a whirlwind few months. The sun kissed my cheeks, the breeze brushed softly over my body. I lay still. I had pictured my head to be swirling with thoughts, but it wasn’t. All the fear was gone. I opened my laptop to write. Up popped the photos I’d taken the day before. I smiled. Rolled onto my belly, closed my eyes, and laid quietly in the sun listening to music. I’m not sure where I went, until I felt something cold in the middle of my back. I turned to see him smiling from above me. He was back, and I wasn’t the least bit sad to give up the quiet time. I was happy to see him. Nothing with him was expected. A week prior, Bermuda was not on my list to do…

We tossed together a bag of towels and a few layers of clothing and he whisked me away on the scooter to show me the rest of Bermuda. We drove to Elbow Beach for another stunning lunch on the turquoise waters. I had surrendered completely to the adventure. I couldn’t come up with a plan if I tried. He opened a big piece of his life to me, as he shared the island that was once his home. We drove to St.Georges. The one shopping trip he had planned was to buy me Perfume at the Perfumery of St. Georges to remember the trip by. My heart melted a little more. Not only was I in one of the most beautiful places on earth, but with an incredible man. My mind drifted to all the moments I’d longed to travel with someone special. It was happening. We walked by the harbour and through the quaint shops. We toured the oldest church on the Island then hopped back on the bike. We drove clear back across the Island to the opposite end and out to The Dockyard. He pointed out all the local spots, his favourite beaches, the homes of people he knew.

On the way back, we stopped to visit one of his friends. The man smiled, pushed my outstretched hand away and hugged me. He welcomed me into his home and out to sit on the balcony overlooking the beautiful Atlantic. It was comfortable. After a quick visit, we set out to spend time by the water. We walked from one beach to the next, as we looked among the 121 incredible beaches for one our very own. He held my hand and walked me into the water, a chicken in the cold, I still followed. I was so warmed by his energy, he sheltered me from the waves the warmth of his skin lightened the shock of the chilled spring time Atlantic waters. In that moment I knew there was no turning back for my heart. I felt safe with him, beautiful, small, and adored. The very things that make up my list of - what am I looking for? We headed back to hotel. I sat on the patio while he poured a bottle of champagne and assembled some grapes and cheese to snack on. Every moment we had to chat was so very welcomed, by both of us.

That night he had planned a special dinner. This was the kind of romance I loved. I got dressed in the bathroom, I didn’t want him to see me until I was ready. When I opened the door, I felt it, adored, appreciated, beautiful. He took my hand and escorted me to the waiting taxi. We set out to catch the sunset at the Waterlot Inn - one of the oldest most renowned restaurants in Bermuda. We had a glass of wine and watched the sunset from the outdoor patio. I snuggled close to him in the breeze. The world around us faded from my mind. Inside, we were seated at his request, at a quiet table by the window. He stared quietly at me in the soft lighting, took my hands in his and smiled. There was no need for words. I felt it too. The meal was unbelievable, but more so was our conversation. We talked about what we both wanted. In the past, it had often been a difficult subject to approach, perhaps the first clue those relationships were not on the same wavelength. We comfortably talked about what love meant to us, our personal needs, desires, all of it. Before it could affect either of us, he acknowledged his own nerves around the topic, it made it easy for me to do the same. It was the perfect date within a date. It was the perfect day.

Sunday was bitter sweet. We woke up to make breakfast and crawl back into bed to enjoy it. We talked about the weekend, he asked if I’d plan another trip with him before I left today. I couldn’t help but smile. With only a few more hours together, we were determined to make the most of it. We threw on our swimsuits and headed for the beach. We parked at Horseshoe Bay, one of the longest most beautiful pink sand beaches in Bermuda. we walked all the way down, and two beaches over. He stopped, hugged me. I hugged him back, my mind drifted again. This was something I had longed to do for so long. He asked again about planning another trip. We rhymed off some places and our schedules. It didn’t even matter to me, when or where. I was already looking forward to it. We walked back and straight into the beautiful blue water. It was as though the ocean was 10 degrees warmer. It was the perfect last day. By the time I got back to pack, I realized I was sad to leave without him.

One last lunch and he would take me back to the airport. He was staying on a few days to train, and I had to be in Montreal on Monday. We found lunch at the Swizzle Inn before arriving at the airport. He parked and walked in with me. He insisted I check my bag and then we sneak off to another beach nearby for 20 more minutes. We did. We laid on the lifeguard platform in the shade. Quiet but close. I hadn’t felt this is a long time, I was already going to miss him. I told him ‘I’m not really needy, but right now I am…” He laughed, he had been teasing me all day about missing my flight and staying with him. It was the perfect end to a perfect weekend. 



It has been a long time since someone has captured my mind and heart. I don’t know what or how or why. I am simply enjoying every moment of this adventure. Nothing in life is guaranteed, but everything in life is worthwhile…and this, is very different.