My journey as a single person has left me bouncing around between finding my balance and getting knocked right back on my ass just as quickly. It became quite clear that my foundation, my center was just not strong enough still to support the lessons learned without continuing to go back to my old ways everytime I felt a little bit stretched. I started to realize this by listening to the stories of other single friends. We have our good days and bad... we wake up strong and convinced, then we fall weak and insecure. We put ourselves our there, then we lock ourselves back up tightly.
The definition of insanity describes the idea of continuing to do the same thing and expecting different results. I'm fairly certain there are few people who can't say they've been there... Perhaps the greatest lesson I am learning, and one that I have to work diligently at as I hope to master is the idea that everything about life changes when we change our perspective on things. What I mean is, the world is full of noise. Billions of people on different journeys, with different experiences, opnions, beliefs, successes, and challenges. I recognize that my life gets really fuzzy, especially in dating and the pursuit to find myself, when I start asking people the Hows, Whys, and What ifs. When I find my own center, trust in my heart, instincts, mind and journey... I find peace. And when I find that peace, good things seem to naturally come my way.
What am I saying? There are good things waiting to come into all of our lives, people, experiences, gifts... but sometimes without knowing it we are blocking it. We are un-open to accepting it. We are fearful of things that we don't know, we are protective of ourselves and as a result knock ourselves off centre trying to make up who we want others to think we are. Why is it that the hardest thing in the world sometimes is just being yourself? Think of a time when you could just be you... how did it make you feel? I bet you would tell me it was a time of utter and shear happiness, and I bet you sensed a true desire of people around you wanting to be a genuine part of that. So why do we become someone else when who we really are is exactly what someone out there is looking for :)
This past week of silence, I have spent a great deal reading about trusting emotions, openness to life, and have found a new place to connect with myself and find balance. I have taken up Hot Yoga. I am a natural born thinker, my mind never shuts off. In this one hour that I give to myself, where my BlackBerry sits idol, my world is placed on pause, and all the noise around me is silenced... I listen to my own breath, and the calm words of someone reminding me to let go of the thoughts that aren't serving me. In these moments I realize, I am happy. There is nothing missing. The things that I think about that make me unhappy are simply thoughts I've created. And the easiest way when I step away from Yoga and into the world to keep it relevant and centered - is to realize that I am in control of my thoughts. I can listen to the words of many. But in the end, I choose what I want to accept, what I'm willing to consider, what I believe... because within me, when I trust it, I already have the answers.
To my friends who are struggling with the words and input and NOISE of others, I want to share this quote for what it's worth...
"If someone offers you a gift, and you decline to acccept it, to whom does the gift belong?" ~ Buddha
This conversation with a man who insulted Buddha ended with the abuser answering "Then it belongs to the person who offered it". Buddha replied "That is correct. So if I decline your abuse, does it not still then belong to you?"
Food for thought...
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