I took to the mat tonight... The yoga my. The place that has become my sanctuary, to check in, to check out, to reconnect. Tonight I reflected on he past few days. The second my most inspirational spirit in yoga suggested the intention for the class be, to embrace nd accept change, I knew immediately I had come to the right place. Funny how you always get exactly what you need when you're open to hearing it...
just as anyone who is single will tell you, love doesn't come without heartache. But it doesn't have to hurt forever, and it doesn't have to stop you from doing it again. None of the toughest situations to let go of is the one you can't resolve with peace. It can be difficult to understand or accept the coldness or hurtful actions of someone you once cared so deeply for. Their words and actions cut deeper than anyone's...
Just the other day I lived this again. I had hoped to have the mature conversation acknowledging a difference in needs and looking to leave things in a good light. Sometimes that choice isn't going to be yours. In this case, I had to ace the ugliness of a situation, and a very cold and heartless side of someone I'd once given my heart too. I felt it all come back...the pain of the past, the shock, the denial, the anger. The last time I'd gone rough this it took me a month to get through the pain. Good thing it prepared me for this one. So did the work of learning to love myself again these past few years.
Here I am, just 24 hours later... I'm not going to lie, yesterday the cut was deep. The cold and abrupt behaviour of someone I still love, showing me less respect then someone they probably dislike in life... I took a time out., and really let myself react and felt it the way I needed to. Then, I began the work again. Realizing the reaction did not reflect anything I had done. I do my best from day to day to be as aware as possible of my actions toward others. It's the best way to end a day without guilt or a busy mind. The same holds true for relationships. I did realize that the only resolution I could hope for I'm this situation would be the ability to walk away from the situation with the peace of mind that I had done what I could do to achieve peace and to not hurt this person back in retaliation.
Sometimes, the only resolution you will get is the one you give yourself. A key for me is to find gratitude and acceptance...for who a person is, for what they have brought to your life. Sometimes even a soul mate is not meant to stay...one their purpose is served, we must let them go. Today, I accept the way this situation concluded. I am a better person for having known this individual and have grown so much in my journey through the relationship. The only way to completely set myself free now, and him is to find forgiveness without an apology and a sincere gratefulness for their generosity of spirit.
If you're struggling to let something or someone go, try sending your thoughts away with a kiss. The positive energy you send, even toward someone who has hurt you will come back to you. Sending negative thoughts or wishes often clouds your mind and draws negative energy back to you.
Freedom comes from forgiveness, and sometimes "the hardest apology to accept, is the one you never got".
Food for thought...f
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