Like so many of my friends, I too have been jaded in my view of dating... Like every article and survey out there, I've been carrying around unknown expectations of what it should look and feel like. As a result, I've never truly been able to enjoy dating... I recently read an article shared by a friend, written from a male perspective about why so many women struggle with dating...women's viewpoint of dating has been influenced heavily by the portrayals in film. We have been conditioned to expect the knight in shining armour, sizzling romance, and irresistability of intense chemistry. Yep, guilty! I can clearly see in hindsight where my expectations and hopes have lead to disappointment in the past. That's a tall order to fill for anyone and really not an enjoyable way to approach dating.
So...after doing what we women do, and deconstructing the theories of this article with a girlfriend over dinner, I decided to give the whole dating thing a new approach. I accepted my first date for a quick meet in The Path downtown over lunch. Nice guy, good conversation. Immediately after, I did my own head check.,, usually at this point I've made up my mind... Interested/not-interested. This time... I had no opinion, just a "decide when there's a decision to consider", and I went about my day giving little thought to it again, until... He texted again, day after day. Interesting...
At the same time, I began chatting with another guy (I know... So not like me). He asked to see me, I offered him Wednesday, he insisted on Saturday. Quick thought check - that's prime time...not sure I want to commit to that 5 days out. Thank goodness for Stacey, who quickly turned my perspective back to... Wait a minute, I like a guy who wants a committed date and time. So, I accepted. We chatted a bit in the days to come.
Saturday came, I received several texts from lunch guy about getting together again, I offered Monday, he accepted. Hmmm.,.this is easy?!? The second guy, Sean, messages to reconfirm plans. Meeting at Bar Wellington, then casually stating he had made a last minute reso at Marben if I felt like having dinner, a girls gotta eat ;). At dinner I casually pointed out that he was lucky to get a last minute reservation on a Saturday at prime time. Turnout he booked well in advance at four different restaurants in the city. Suddenly it occurred to me, how thoughtful, sweet and attractive I found that gesture. After dinner we went for drinks at Weslodge, and now I decided to do my own research,,, we chatted about dating. Sean unknowingly reconfirmed the article about not only the expectations, but also how unapproachable, even cold, women can be in the city. He noted zero eye contact and never a smile... He has lived and travelled the world and never found it so difficult to approach women in public. So ladies.., if you're wondering.,, it's time to smile!!! In fact I think I'm starting my own experiment, stay tuned for that.
True to form, today, Monday morning, I awake to a message from Aaron, the lunch guy. Feeling out my day, little did I realize that's what he was getting at until he almost concluded our conversation with "you're a busy girl I won't keep you". Ha! Caught myself...I quickly questioned why he thought that and asked about his day. The lack of expectation really left me stunned and smiling when he said "not sure yet, but hoped it would include you". What can I say... I accepted. I heard from Aaron throughout the day as he planned the evening, We met in Forest Hill, walked his dog, then headed to dinner at Copacabana at Yonge and Eglinton. Stuffed silly, after a good night of easy laughs and conversation. We went back to his place. Satisfied with the evening, I thanked him again as i stood up to leave, he beat me to the door, handing me my scarf and holding my coat. A true gentleman, I hugged him goodbye and he swept me up in his arms, planted a sweet kiss on my lips and I left. Satisfied, and content that the evening was so easy...no expectations. :)
Until tomorrow...I'm smiling. Sweet dreams
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