I mentioned my recent dates with David. So many ideals, I bet this guy is an amazing catch for 95% of single women...so why not for me? That is the million dollar question. He asked me himself what my type was, he asked me what was common among the men I'd dated and more so those that I'd had serious feelings for. I do find this a fascinating topic. Friends often point men out to me, and while I enjoy the scenery, it amuses me to see who people think are my type.
To answer David's question as he wondered whether or not I was attracted to him. I honestly could not give him the laundry list he was certain I had. I don't flock to the guy most women drool for, in fact I'm often not interested in the least. The city is full of gorgeous men and women, yet there are still so many singles. I am looking for a feeling. It's the "je ne sais quoi"...that thing you can't describe. For me, it is something that I feel on an emotional level, that in the past has built over time to levels so strong it wouldn't matter what the person looked like. My attraction grew in a way I'd never experienced with the many that have crossed my path. The only common feature I can identify between the special men in my past is light eyes, my mother actually pointed that out to me, now I notice it all the time!
As far as my list, I used to describe Jason, my first love, a mans man. Tall, built like a hockey player, tough on the outside, soft on the inside. However, he was the not one that i ever loved that fit that list. Chris was not someone I'd ever have picked off the street, yet, he grabbed my heart on a deeper level then even Jason could. My attraction for Chris grew immensely over the course of knowing him. It has certainly changed my approach to dating.
When I met David, I could say he was attractive for sure, however, I really felt myself searching and listening for the feeling. I remained open to several dates with him and a few others, and realized how particular I am. While it makes finding someone a touch more challenging, it does assure me I'm getting closer to not only find what I'm looking for but to also feeling it from the right place. Love isn't logical. It doesn't come when you want it, or for who you'd like it to. The soul is wiser then the mind. It will draw you to the people you need. Put away the list and listen to your heart, your gut.
It is better to be alone then to wake up beside someone you don't FEEL everything for. Here's to the only type...the one that connects with the depths of your soul, that reaches a place within that no one has ever touched, and lets you feel all that you inside. You may have to find a few, they may shake you to the core, but until you can risk feeling it and risk losing it, your greatest risk is never knowing it at all...ditch the list.
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