Receiving Love...A Mind Bender

After an amazing weekend, I crawled into bed completely exhausted last night. As I began to drift, a text from Matt lit up my phone. I long help but smile at the unexpected hello.  I hadn't thought too my, nor had he chance to connect. The incredible piece about things with Matt is our pact for no holds barred honesty. This leaves us both open to saying, doing me asking anything of each other. To be honest, I've enjoyed the test of myself. 

There is something not only refreshing but also incredibly attractive about. Person who is comfortable enough to say exactly what is on his mind unfiltered. Unfortunately and fortunately I fell asleep in the middle of our conversation. When I awoke this morning, his last reply brought a smile to  my face and I already knew the day was off to a great start. I replied and apologized for passing out. Instantly he replied, and the conversation continued without skipping a beat. He was thinking about me, and the time we spent together last week. I couldn't help but blush at his words, all smiles. Our pact forced me to resist the urge to get shy. 

This was the kind of communication and comfort I'd craved, but resisted so man times before. Now, with a clean slate as far as dating is concerned, is a chance for me to get comfortable once again with that openness. It feels amazing! Games, dishonesty and hurt had shut this down on me for a while. Then the need to work so hard at keeping the wrong relationships together. Here I am, finally so comfortable and consumed with my own life that I am consciously able to put the games and people who aren't right or ready behind me.

Here are to more soulmates, Benjamin and Matt, with precious gifts to give my life. Oddly, the piece that has been the greatest struggle is receiving... Giving has never been an issue. In a great discussion today, Matt challenged me with questions I might have shied away from, especially after the flood of compliments he shared with me. Yet, our platform of honesty made them easier to take, and the discomfort of the questions quick to dissipate. His questions were not to put me on the spot more than for him to know that he offers something to me that "ranks him among the top prospects in my life". He would be perfectly happy to work for his spot knowing he met the criteria.

Hmm...that gives me a lot to think about. My entire approach to dating these past few years was poorly focused...stay tuned as I bend my brain around that one.