Before the holidays I had clearly gotten myself in over my head emotionally. Every situation was just getting complicated. I knew it was time to step back, but let's face it... when you get caught up in a situation, it's pretty hard to avoid the desire to keep picking at it until it is resolved. Yet, that approach never seems to make matters better.
So here it is... by a host of situations and questionable timing, I have only seen Chris twice since Christmas Day, once 3 weeks ago, and today. The situation had gotten so strained that time together felt forced and uncomfortable.
Now with only one afternoon a few weeks back, I felt different today. Finally free to be me... no nerves, so pressure, so desire to carry the conversation or steer anything. The afternoon was fun, light and free of expectations. Probably the best I've felt seeing Chris. With life busy enough, and a solid footing on the ground, a likely second date with Aaron this week. I'm finally feeling ready to believe that when I let it all go... things will happen as they are meant to.
Here's to faith...
Still saying "If you get a chance take it, if it changes your life, let it..."
because "Sometime's things have to fall apart for better things to fall together"
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