This is my moment...

Some days it feels like I'll never figure it out!  Then you have an "a-ha" moment and things get a little clearer... it always seems to come out of a conversation, a book, something you see on tv... the only thing that is clear is that I never seem to learn this while examining my own life.  This weekend, I had another one of those moments, and the funny part is, my a-ha is really about how I create all of my own problems... and the solution is "seemingly" very simple!

Here it is, through some conversations with friends about disastrous dates, and relationship challenges, and through the reading of a book recommended to me by several (Excuses Begone! by Dr. Wayne Dyer), the recurring theme has been "be in the moment". That's it, that's all!!! I know, seriously, can it really be that easy? Well, yes, in theory...

A few personal examples... in dating, I can't even count the number of times I have grown frustrated or upset with a situation or person, in hindsight, 99% of the time it has been because I was looking ahead, not living in the moment. This is especially difficult very early on in dating when there is nothing but uncertainty. We often look so hard for "answers", "signs" anything that tells us there is a future. But perhaps we are missing the point... the future is not ours, not yet. All we have is this very moment. If we can stay in that, we can let go of the unnecessary pressure, the fear, the scenarios we are creating for ourselves, and just enjoy what is right now.  It is looking ahead that allows our mind to create situations that we have no way of predicting, we don't even know if tomorrow will come. That is a lot of pressure to put on yourself, and the person you are dating.  When a friend tells me about a trainwreck dating scenario, it always seems to come down to emotional reactions that can only be related to not living in the moment.

In my most current dating situation, with Aaron, I have been able to do just that. Be in the moment.  I'm not worrying about the next message or phone call or date. I'm not worried if he's out with someone else or if he is the one for me. When I see him, I am in the moment. I enjoy it, I live it, I take it for what it is worth.  There is no pressure. It is about me in that moment, how I'm feeling, if I'm listening to my own heart and soul.  If I'm not enjoying the moment, then it's up to me to make the change. When I am living my life in the moment, I am not worried about the things that take me away from living the life I want to be living.

Think about the hardest thing you've had to do, the biggest thing that ever worried you? Did it have anything to do with the very moment you were living in when it troubled you?  The exam you worried about, did you not eventually get through it? The Date that made you nervous. Even the moment you ran into an ex with someone else. All of those difficult moments were a) nothing you could have predicted b) nothing you couldn't survive and move on from. So when you start worrying about what's next, and you forget to be in the moment, you are letting your mind create a fear that isn't even real.

When you feel yourself struggling, keep it simple, bring your mind and heart back to the moment...

"This is my moment, I waited all my life. I can tell it's time. Drifting away, I'm one with the sunset, I have become alive" ~Moment 4 Life (Nicki Minaj)