Someone asked me the other day if I felt my childhood was "normal". The only thing I could come up with was "what is normal?". Truth be told, I'm not sure is normal exists... We are human, unpredictable, sensitive, emotional, irrational at times, we think, feel, and respond to everything in ways that depend on a million different variables at any given time. So perhaps, I'd like to propose that normal for me would be to be with someone who understands and accepts all of me. The fun, serious, emotional, crazy, strategic and irrational chick that I can be in any given moment. Perhaps that is what normal will be when I find it ;)
For now, here's the latest... I have started spending more time with Aaron. We all talk about wanting "normal" and "stable", and here I am, seeing the guy for over a month who is unbelievably normal and stable so far, and it FREAKS me out! LOL. Call me crazy... BUT, then I meet up with Chris, we haven't seen each other in almost a month, and our only communication lately has gone extremely wrong. After my little cease and dismiss routine last week, he has been in touch regularly... seemingly wanting to talk through what happened and why I would end a "friendship" in that sudden way. Now, I'm hardly an expert on normal... but after a brief intimate relationship and only 3 months of knowing someone, this just seems bizarre. On the upside... it is settling and reassuring my feelings for Aaron.
Normal isn't so bad... why do we often feel the need to go looking for crisis in calm waters?
No comments:
Post a Comment