What a Day!!!

What a day... you know the inevitable type. The one where things just come to a head and there is no more coasting along and ignoring a situation. I found myself wide awake from about 1am until 4am this morning. I often wonder if I can either predict crazy days, or if my lack of sleep contributes to it. In this case, I swear I knew it was coming...

I started the day sending a nice message to Chris, commenting on how time flies relating to a photo he had on his profile that was taken on our second date. The conversation starter seemed to set the tone for a positive communication. But for whatever reason, that was not hte direction Chris planned. Perhaps it was because I was tired... or perhaps I hit that "moment of clarity" I've often referred to. Whatever the case may be, Chris pushed me a little too hard. I finally stood up for myself, and laid a boundary, in fact, I think I finally tied a loose end. After the conversation went down a dark path for no reason at all, I found myself upset enough, and no longer interested in even worrying about the outcome. I laid it out to Chris that I was done accepting this behaviour, and that it was time to go our separate ways.

Talk about a load off... I don't remember ever feeling so sure about severing ties with anyone. Don't get me wrong, I'm saddened at the end of something. But looking back, I realize an important lesson that I have learned about relationships, and one that I have shared with countless friends who find themselves in the same place... sometimes the thing that keeps us stuck, that draws us in, the holds on and prevents us from letting go... is nothing more than the dream of something that never was. The idea we had when things got started, the "what could be", and not the "what is"... when we are finally able to look at a situations for "what is" true, we can finally accept and let go of what we thought might be, and take those much needed steps to move forward.

For all you single people, we are sitting on the verge of what can be a very tough day... Valentine's Day... an awkward Hallmark Holiday for those of us who are single, on the end of a relationship, or at the very very beginning of something new. The only piece of wisdom I can share, and the one that I am trying to hold myself to...

"No Expectations..." 

Until tomorrow...